Friday, February 12, 2010

LOOSE TALK

Save our tigers – While I am all for protecting the national animal, I wonder how, many of these farcical buggers would react with empathy when face to face with a Bengal Tiger? 1411 will quickly reduce to 1410 esp. if that person has a 12 bow shotgun in hand.

My name is Khan: I think Shiv Sena has a problem with the name of the movie rather than the fact that SRK wanted Paki players to play in the IPL. I would suggest SRK change the name of the movie to My name is Khanna instead. I mean we are in Hindustan for crying out loud… the least you can do is keep a Hindu name. Do I qualify to join the Sena? Come to think of it, ‘Khanna’ might just be numerologically lucky too! Who knows…

Rahul Dulhaniya le Jayega: A man with a dark past. Wife beater. Son of a politician (almost sounds like an abuse, doesn’t it?), Rahul Mahajan is having his swayamvar or is it swayamvadhu on national television. The guy laughs like Elmer Fudd, is bent like a Neanderthal and generally looks like an overgrown spastic baby. The brides-to-be? The less said the better. Is it better than Rakhi’s Swayamwar? Well let’s just say, they are 2 sides of a fake coin.

T for Toyota or Trouble? – Seems of late, a lot of Toyota’s vehicles have been called back because of unintended accelerations. Don’t u wish the same would be true for the world economy? ‘Unintended acceleration’. I like the term!

What an idea Sirjee: The other day me and my friend Al after a particularly stressful day at work, were discussing as usual about how to get out of this 9-6 rut we had gotten ourselves into. And we thought if we werent lucky enough to get a job we love, we arent going to be lucky enough to win the Mashreq millionniare either. So therefore the alternative is the extreme. Invent a new product, patent it and sell the idea to a big company. As simple as that.

With this in mind, we started brainstorming. And voila! Al had an idea. We men always forget to put the toilet seat up once we are done crapping. This apparently (I didn’t know) irritates the womenfolk no end. The answer? An automatic toilet seat lifter!

Al worked out the mechanics of how it would work. A spring loaded system which recognises the weight of a person when he sits on the toilet seat. And as soon as he is done shitting and gets up, it recognises that the weight is off and therefore pulls itself up. Sounds good doesn’t it? Guess what? A similar system already exists!! I cant believe there are others who didn’t even leave the toilet seats alone… Now we have to start all over again…

5 comments:

kavi said...

Dream on boy. Love ur writing ,brings a smile on the face.

SidZ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SidZ said...

You should read the book 'The Toyota Way'...it outlines 14 management principles that are much revered by global corporations...despite all this, the problem...goes to show, even the best of processes and quality controls aren't foolproof.

N.V said...

The other day TOI carried in CONTRAPUNTO the following :

Shah Rukh Khan and Bal Thackeray have spoken and the film will be released. It will now be called 'My name is Khandekar' (an SMS joke)

Khan-de-kar !!

Love ur writing. keep it up and cheer up everyone.

Karthik Sundar said...

Nice writing da! Keep innovating! :)