Sunday, February 28, 2010


Sitting on chairs puts on flab: One more reason to hate your 9-6 job. According to a new research, it seems there is no effect of a 1-2 hour daily work out, if you have a desk job that arrests you to a chair continuously for 8-10 hours. Seems all the calories you burn in a 1 hour gym session is gained right back just by sitting 8 hours on a chair.

Talk about vicious cycle! Go to Gym-Lose calories-feel happy-go to office sit for 8 hours-gain calories-feel sad. Repeat next day… day after, week after week. Feeling depressed? Don’t. Research proves depression and weight gain co-occur. I hate research. Wanna make a million? Who doesn’t? The site belongs to a Srilankan who is on a race to make a million by Jan 2011. And while he is at it, he is gonna help others make a million too, if they are interested. I have been in this race, seriously, since 2005 and I have just about achieved 1/10th of it. Seems a one legged beggar in Mumbai is doing better than me.

Piqued I visited his site. And the bloke is actually doling out advice on avenues to make money. Quite generic stuff actually (not anything you wouldn’t have thought of), but his intentions are genuine. More importantly his desire, passion and his thirst for making it big, is nothing short of a dying man’s thirst for water in a parched desert. Its addictive. In a day and age where everyone wants to make a quick buck with utter or no consideration for fellow humans, here is a person who wants to make a quick buck but in the process also wants to help others make it. Noble? Time will tell.

Unique identity symbol for the Indian Rupee: I say high time! We are the world’s fourth largest economy and we still represent our currency as INR. I wonder how they would go about creating a symbol? Hopefully it will not be left to the babus in the cabinet ministry, who might just take their grandchildren’s infantile scribble and make it the nation’s currency symbol.
Hire an advertising agency perhaps? If they do, I pray fervently the agency selected understands its significance and importance and doesn’t end up coming up with artsy stuff fit only for Cannes and not the common man!

Sania Mirza crashed out in first round: Recently Sania Mirza crashed out of the Dubai tennis tournament in the first round and blamed it on a swollen wrist. Poor thing is under the impression that, that is the only thing swollen in her body. Media? Care to enlighten her? Oh sorry I forgot. She is your creation. She reminds me so much of a famous quote by Shakespeare “Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some have greatness thrust upon them”. She probably falls in the third category. Thank you media.

Friday, February 12, 2010


Save our tigers – While I am all for protecting the national animal, I wonder how, many of these farcical buggers would react with empathy when face to face with a Bengal Tiger? 1411 will quickly reduce to 1410 esp. if that person has a 12 bow shotgun in hand.

My name is Khan: I think Shiv Sena has a problem with the name of the movie rather than the fact that SRK wanted Paki players to play in the IPL. I would suggest SRK change the name of the movie to My name is Khanna instead. I mean we are in Hindustan for crying out loud… the least you can do is keep a Hindu name. Do I qualify to join the Sena? Come to think of it, ‘Khanna’ might just be numerologically lucky too! Who knows…

Rahul Dulhaniya le Jayega: A man with a dark past. Wife beater. Son of a politician (almost sounds like an abuse, doesn’t it?), Rahul Mahajan is having his swayamvar or is it swayamvadhu on national television. The guy laughs like Elmer Fudd, is bent like a Neanderthal and generally looks like an overgrown spastic baby. The brides-to-be? The less said the better. Is it better than Rakhi’s Swayamwar? Well let’s just say, they are 2 sides of a fake coin.

T for Toyota or Trouble? – Seems of late, a lot of Toyota’s vehicles have been called back because of unintended accelerations. Don’t u wish the same would be true for the world economy? ‘Unintended acceleration’. I like the term!

What an idea Sirjee: The other day me and my friend Al after a particularly stressful day at work, were discussing as usual about how to get out of this 9-6 rut we had gotten ourselves into. And we thought if we werent lucky enough to get a job we love, we arent going to be lucky enough to win the Mashreq millionniare either. So therefore the alternative is the extreme. Invent a new product, patent it and sell the idea to a big company. As simple as that.

With this in mind, we started brainstorming. And voila! Al had an idea. We men always forget to put the toilet seat up once we are done crapping. This apparently (I didn’t know) irritates the womenfolk no end. The answer? An automatic toilet seat lifter!

Al worked out the mechanics of how it would work. A spring loaded system which recognises the weight of a person when he sits on the toilet seat. And as soon as he is done shitting and gets up, it recognises that the weight is off and therefore pulls itself up. Sounds good doesn’t it? Guess what? A similar system already exists!! I cant believe there are others who didn’t even leave the toilet seats alone… Now we have to start all over again…